You Read It, You Name It
Hello, and welcome. First time here? Hope you like what you see.
Orcas, You Know What To Do
David Zaslav just may be the happiest man alive at this moment. He is no longer the primary symbol of corporate executive malfeasance in the entertainment industry. Sure, he haphazardly removed material from The Artist Formerly Known As HBO Max, and he put fans of TCM in a panic. But at least he didn’t suggest that the WGA strike should be drawn out long enough that the striking writers would be in danger of losing their homes.
That comment was made by an anonymous producer, if you’re seeking a public face of the strike look no further than Bob Iger. In a CNBC interview he accused the striking guild members of holding unreasonable demands. Proving that he knows nothing of visuals, he conducted that interview remotely from Sun Valley. He might as well have lit a cigar with a $100 bill. He’s conveniently ignoring the fact that his massive wealth is largely due to the creative output of the writers and actors that are terribly underpaid.
And make no mistake, the vast majority of members of these guilds are undervalued. The multimillion dollar fees paid to A-List stars are the bright shiny objects. For most actors chronic underemployment is a fact of life. And it’s difficult for them to count on residual payments the way they had always done. Since the streamers guard actual viewing data very closely, that helps them screw the creators out of their fair share of that revenue pool. It’s bad enough for the actors, jokes about how low writers fall on the totem pole have long been a staple.
All of which leads me to believe that the coordinated orca attacks on yachts have been a simple dry run. Orcas are an intelligent species, so it stands to reason they are likely pro-labor. They’re ready to strike the next time Iger and his buddies take their boats out.
It’s Barbenheimer Weekend
The summer blockbuster release schedule usually works out like a high stakes game of “I call dibs!” The studios try to plant their tentpoles so that they have their opening weekends to themselves, carefully avoiding having to face a rival’s blockbuster opening on the same weekend. Which is why this coming weekend is so unusual. Barbie and Oppenheimer both open on Friday even though they are essentially the same movie. Come on, I’m no expert but even I know that you don’t open up a Marvel and a DC movie simultaneously.
An Epic Match
The most satisfying sporting events are the ones in which the opponents are both competing at the absolute top level of their respective games and your chief thought at the end is “it’s too bad that someone had to lose that one.” That was the case with last Sunday’s gentleman’s final at Wimbledon. Wimbledon has provided some of the most memorable matches in my lifetime - McEnroe/Borg, Federer/Roddick, practically every Federer/Nadal matchup. Add one more to the list. I was drained by the time it ended, and I was sitting on my couch.
Coming into the fortnight, Novak Djokovic looked as invulnerable as ever. Carlos Alcaraz came in as the top seed, but most still looked at Djokovic as the clear favorite with the first two Grand Slam titles of the year in his back pocket. Alcaraz is the reigning US Open champ, but New York vaccine mandates were still in place at the time, so Djokovic was unable to compete. The 2 met in the semis of this year’s French Open, but Alcaraz cramped up and was only able to win a total of 2 games in the final 2 sets. So despite his success, he still had much to prove.
In addition, Djokovic steamrolled his way through the draw. Talk of a potential calendar year Grand Slam started to stir up. And then the two men proceeded to play a spectacular match. Since his emergence last year Alcaraz has shown the potential to one day approach the career achievements of the 3 titans who have been taking turns as the GOAT. Winning this match in this way is exactly the type of catalyst that he needs to get that going. But more than that, he played so well that he accomplished what had previously seemed impossible - he broke Djokovic’s will. Djokovic gave everything he had, but it wasn’t enough.
Winning one major is one thing; winning the second may have broken the seal. Since the two are certain to still be ranked 1 & 2 next month, that means they will placed in the alternate sides of the draw at the US Open and could potentially meet again in the final. With all due respect to the other top male players, a majors final rematch is what every fan wants to see. Fingers crossed that it happens.
Swimming In The Wake
Of this year’s inductees into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame, George Michael is the one who I find it most difficult to determine if anyone will follow in his footsteps. That’s because he’s not entering in a specific lane, instead he essentially Frankensteined bits from assorted paths to create his own distinct route. I will make one early projection, however. When this year’s announcement was made I initially thought that this was Cyndi Lauper’s sole shot at induction. Upon further reflection I’ve come around to the idea that the arguments in favor of Michael and Lauper are similar and that a significant number of voters were comfortable selecting one but not both. If afforded a second opportunity I feel that many who voted for Michael but not Lauper will do so now and that she stands a better than even chance of being part of the Class Of ‘24.
But what of George Michael? As I said there were multiple factors that led to his election. His inclusion is a result of the recognition that there is a large population of artists outside of the narrow “white guys with guitars” club. There is a place for more pop-oriented or dance-music oriented acts. Massive popularity combined with a passionate fanbase and a large catalog of classic hits that have stood the test of time is a successful formula. There are scores of artists who fulfill some, but not all of the criteria that George Michael did. I would almost say that Dionne Warwick is the closest parallel, but I’ll go in a different direction.
In my opinion the artist whose qualifications most closely resembles those of George Michael is Mariah Carey. With 19 #1 hits on the Billboard Hot 100, she is the second most successful singles artists in American chart history. Her talents are obvious; not only was she blessed with an otherworldly voice, but she has written or co-written most of her hits. Let’s also face facts; she and Whitney Houston are fated to be compared with each other until the end of time. With Houston already in, it’s only fitting that Carey join her.
Seriously, Keep On Talking
When you come right down to it, a political campaign, and more specifically a presidential one, is at its core a prolonged job interview. By the time the candidates have sampled every last speck of fried foods served at Iowa county fairs every aspect of their personalities, both positive and negative has been revealed. There’s a good reason why the likes of John Edwards or Bobby Jindal never became President. The brighter the spotlight, the more lacking they were found to be.
Well before he officially declared, there were plenty of people sounding out the warning that Ron DeSantis is too inherently unlikable. As carefully orchestrated as his campaign has been thus far, he can’t clear the hurdle of actually having to interact with people. His unease with others and his clear discomfort in his own skin are palpable. Say what you will about Trump, but he spent decades perfecting his public brand. He may have utter contempt for the common folk, but he knows how to play them like a fiddle. DeSantis can’t, which is why his Trump-lite persona falls so flat. The more he talks, the more big pocket donors run screaming in the other direction.
But if there’s someone who does more self-damage each time he opens his mouth, it’s clearly RFK Jr. I still insist that he’ll flame out early, other than his last name there’s nothing about him that holds any appeal for Democratic primary voters. And he can’t help himself; there’s no way to have a logical conversation or debates with a committed conspiracy theorist. As he proved with his COVID origin theories last weekend, the Venn Diagram that charts the tin foil hat crowd and antisemitics is often a simple circle. I had previously expressed some concern about the New Hampshire primary. Since the DNC wants South Carolina to begin the primary season, it’s unlikely that President Biden’s name will be on the New Hampshire ballot if the state goes on with its usual date. If so, there will be loads of Kennedy Wins New Hampshire! hot takes taken out of context. The way to avoid that would be to let Kennedy put his foot in his mouth as much as possible and sabotage his own candidacy. He’s already clinched the title of America’s Most Embarrassing Kennedy; a man as dangerous as he is simply cannot become a legitimate Presidential candidate.
Curtain Call
Thank you all for reading. And for anyone sampling this newsletter for the first time, I conveniently located the subscribe button at the top of today’s post. Nothing beats finding Tending The Herd in your inbox three times a week. See you again on Friday.