Today’s Rambling
The Countdown Starts
Quick reminder - I’m going to tackle the Hall Of Fame ballot by separately counting down the newcomers and holdovers from 12-1 while dealing with Manny Ramirez and Alex Rodriguez as their own category. Without further ado…
Newcomer #12 - James Shields. One of life’s biggest mysteries is how & why James Shields earned the nickname of “Big Game James.” There was no evidence that he was a particularly impressive big game pitcher. He had a decent outing in the first playoff start in his career, but overall his career postseason ERA was over 5. Did that nickname somehow refer to something else, the way that in the Buffyverse Spike was once known as William the Bloody, not because of a bloody reign of terror, but because before he became a vampire he was an aspiring poet whose verse was bloody awful? Or, to keep it in the sports realm was it meant to be ironic, in the same way that Sam Malone’s signature pitch was dubbed the Slider Of Doom, a moniker bestowed by his teammates because when he threw it it often resulted in a 400 foot home run?
Inappropriate as that nickname may have been, he was a solid pitcher who almost never missed a start. He frequently ranked among the league leaders in starts and innings pitched, and once led the league in shutouts. He was never ace caliber, but he was a perfect mid-rotation workhorse. He also came to Kansas City at just the right time. He was exactly the type of veteran that a rising young team needed to help stabilize the rotation, even though he departed as a free agent after the 2014 and therefore wasn’t part of the 2015 World Series champs. His final career totals seemed to summarize him ideally. He ended with a won-loss record just above .500, an ERA just above 4, and an ERA+ just above 100. It was a long, productive career just above average.
Holdover #12 - Omar Vizquel. As of a few years ago it sure appeared that he had the voting momentum to gain admission. Had that happened it would have made the old school v. new school arguments about Jack Morris look like a walk in the park. Now that we all know what a POS the guy is his chances are minuscule. As for his accomplishments as a player, he falls well short. To his credit he was a tremendously durable player, and was good enough to receive playing time well into his 40’s. As a result he played more games at shortstop than anyone in history, and he totaled 2877 career hits. He also won 11 Gold Glove awards. Every man who was won more is in the Hall. But it’s also a fact that he was a net negative as a hitter. The Ozzie Smith comparison is often made, but not only was Ozzie a better glove man than Vizquel by a wide margin, but Smith was a better hitter than his reputation would lead one to believe. His eye was good enough that he drew a lot of walks, turning a mundane batting average into a solid on base percentage, and he was an exceptional base runner as well. Vizquel in contrast only managed to achieve an OPS+ above 100 in 2 seasons. In other words, in a 24 year career he was an above average hitter only twice. In addition, over those years he received an MVP vote only once and only made 3 All-Star teams. He admittedly played during an era filled with elite shortstops, but it still says something that observers at the time didn’t find him all that special. I respect the fact that he lasted as long as he did, but he’s nowhere close to being a HOF caliber player.
Classic SNL Recap - Season 10, Episode 8
The method I’ve been using for recaps of old SNL episodes is to look at 3 episodes per season - the first, the last, & whichever one lands in the middle of the season. Sometimes that means I’m lucky enough that it lands on a top notch episode, which was the case in season 10. Eddie Murphy came back for the first time as host, and I clearly remember many of the sketches even though it aired almost 40 years ago.
Oddly enough, the episode highlight is one of the sketches edited out of the Peacock stream. I’ve found little rhyme or reason to their method. It makes sense that Universal doesn’t want to pay the costs of music rights, so the musical performances are always removed (this week it was The Honeydrippers) along with any sketch that relies on a specific music cue. Beyond that, I can’t quite figure out what stays and what goes. The filmed piece in which Murphy went undercover as a white man is one of the most legendary sketches in the show’s history, yet it was left out. What’s puzzling is that it’s on SNL’s YouTube channel. So, here it is in all its glory.
Murphy has of course been a superstar for decades, but it’s likely that his star was never as high as it was when he hosted in December 1985 on the heels of Beverly Hills Cop. He made reference to that in his monologue; claiming that he left the show to begin with because it sucks & he’s a movie star. But then he wasn’t a big deal anymore following the failure of Best Defense (to be fair he only had a small role, that movie actually ended Dudley Moore’s run as a box office draw) so he needed to come crawling back to SNL. But in the meantime, BHC became a massive hit and Murphy was once again a movie star who didn’t need SNL, but it was too late for him to back out of his commitment.
Murphy brought back 2 of his greatest hits. This was the episode airing before Christmas, so there was a Christmas themed edition of Mr. Robinson’s Neighborhood which included his hustle of selling his own version of the Cabbage Patch Dolls. There was also a sketch featuring the old timey Tin Pan Alley songwriters portrayed by Crystal, Guest, and Short. (Give me a C! Give me a bouncy C!) This time the 3 were in a deli where they would soon be joined by Murphy as Gumby, with his bizarre vaudevillian take on the character fitting right in. This stood out because of who could be seen in the background.
The show frequently uses writers as background actors in sketches. I always get a kick out of watching an old sketch and seeing a writer who never actually joined the cast yet later became famous such as John Mulaney or Paula Pell randomly appearing as an extra. In this instance sitting as a patron in the deli was a youngish Larry David. His brief tenure as a writer for SNL plays a part in David’s story. He famously only wrote one sketch that made it to the show, and at one point he angrily quit the show. On his way home he realized the severity of what he had done so the solution he came up with was to go back to work the following Monday and act as if nothing happened. Dick Ebersol gave him the evil eye when he saw David back at the office, but there were no further consequences and David went on to incorporate the incident into a Seinfeld plot.
Since we’re approaching the end of the Ebersol era, I will soon be able to start calling Update Update again, rather than Saturday Night News. This week’s edition, with Christopher Guest as the anchor, included 3 correspondent pieces. One was Murphy introducing some of the big Christmas gift dolls of that year. He noted the resemblance between the evil gremlin & Miles Davis and I have to say that was pretty accurate. Pamela Stephenson appeared as one the characters she brought with her - a BBC presenter with huge prosthetic teeth that made her accent indecipherable. The standout was Rich Hall’s Paul Harvey impersonation. He totally nailed Harvey’s signature odd mid-sentence pauses as well as his shameless product placement. As time has passed Paul Harvey’s name doesn’t mean as much as it once did (nor does Rich Hall for that matter) but back then he was a big deal.
The episode’s best sketch (other than White Like Me) was a talk show featuring the year’s biggest achievers - Archbishop Desmond Tutu and Doug Flutie. After some initial laughs over the fact that one’s accomplishments were much more significant than the other’s the it pivoted once Tutu accidentally dropped and damaged Flutie’s Heisman Trophy. Christopher Guest’s talk show host kept distracting Flutie as Tutu attempted to repair the statue. I’ll also nod to Murphy’s bit celebrating George Washington Carver. It was a good piece on its own, the punchline being that two white men nicknamed Skippy & Jif stole his idea for peanut butter, but it was made better by the fact that he stumbled a couple of times yet was able to remain in character.
Overall the episode was just as good as I had remembered. Murphy really was in his element here and this reaffirms how unfortunate it was that he had been estranged from SNL for so long. When the current show takes off for its year-end break I’ll tackle the season finale which also served as Dick Ebersol’s final show as producer. It was hosted by Howard Cosell!
The Hawk & The Hall
Andre Dawson has requested that the Hall of Fame change the cap on his plaque from the Expos to the Cubs. He claims that the Hall never consulted him when they made that decision and he was so excited about his election that he didn’t question it at the time. He made a cryptic comment about it, saying that he has his reasons for this choice. I say this without knowing why he has chosen to take this stand now, but I do find it sad that cap decisions can so often create hard feelings.
Once again, obviously Dawson’s preferences should be taken into account, but looking at it objectively should make Montreal the obvious choice. He played with the Expos for more than half of his career. True, his most significant individual achievement was the MVP award he won as a member of the Cubs (although if we’re being honest he probably didn’t deserve it) but he won the Rookie of the Year award in Montreal and he played in more playoff games with the Expos than he did for the Cubs. Plus, he accumulated the majority of his career value in Montreal. That’s not to mention the psychological aspect. As the Expos, and those glorious uniforms, fade further into the distance this seems like such a slap in the face to old Expos fans.
The Hall says that they will evaluate Dawson’s request. They did appear to be a bit blindsided. Stay tuned, you never know if there are any other inductees out there who would like to see similar changes made.
I Am Not A Robot
The last thing I want to do is default to Old Man Shakes Fist At Cloud mode, but sometimes bemoaning the fact that things aren’t what they used to be is appropriate. Sports Illustrated is a perfect example; long the gold standard in sports journalism, the venture capitalist vampires that currently own SI have gradually picked it apart so that it is now a mere shadow of its former self. This story that came out on Futurism on Monday makes that reality even more horrifying. The place that was once home to Gary Smith and Frank Deford is now home to Autobot 6000.
Needless to say, the actual humans at SI responded immediately upon hearing this news. There are still plenty of talented journalists who write for Sports Illustrated, they don’t deserve to have their names dragged through this mess. If it’s any consolation, at least physical copies of the magazine can still be found at newsstands. That’s more than can be said for many other legacy publications. Several months ago National Geographic published its final issue. It’s even worse for Popular Science. It had long since switched to digital only; on Monday it was announced that even the digital edition will cease publication.
I used the phrase “venture capitalist vampires” and it is appropriate, as they suck the very life out of what should be valuable parts of their portfolios. Just recently I made the long-delayed decision to cancel my subscription to the New York Daily News. As important as I feel it is to support journalism, the Daily News is barely a newspaper at this stage. Multiple waves of layoffs have left it with a skeletal staff; too much content is filled with AP wire copy. It was an honestly traumatic decision, as I was learning to read as a child much of my time was spent on the Daily News’s sports section.
Closing Laughs
I’m still not fully into it, but I have to admit that the incessant scoreboard watching on the final day of round robin play in the NBA In-Season Tournament was a bit of a thrill. The knockout stages might be a must watch after all. Still need to do something about those courts, however. See you all again on Friday.