Meet The Nominees Vol. 6
Cyndi Lauper
The past several years has given us a nationwide, if not worldwide, love fest for Dolly Parton. There are many reasons why this is so, but ultimately it comes down to the fact that she is an Objectively Good Person. Virtually every public statement or action she has ever made demonstrates a fundamental kindness and decency that the rest of us can only hope to aspire to. Cyndi Lauper is not quite at that level, few people are, but she is also an Objectively Good Person and because of that she has accumulated a tremendous amount of goodwill that promises to aid her electoral hopes.
She emerged at the perfect time. Spending years out of the spotlight working hard to make a name for herself while staying true to her own personal quirks, she went on to release an absolute banger of a debut album just as the music video revolution was in full bloom. Crucially she did not need to change a thing about herself, the culture came to her rather than her needing to mold herself to fit in. With one of the most glorious Noo Yawk accents of all time along with a unique fashion sense and a powerful voice, she was the perfect face and voice for the early MTV era.
Her follow up album True Colors was not quite as successful, but its title track went on to become an LGBTQ anthem, and inspired her to found the True Colors Fund which has focused on assisting homeless youth, particularly those that are LGBTQ. Simply put, she has saved lives, which circles back to my earlier comment regarding her fundamental goodness.
As big of a star as she was, that level of fame had a short shelf life. Her she’s so unusual persona was so omnipresent that it eventually got to be a bit exhausting, so she largely disappeared from pop radio as the 80s ended. Even though her chart success waned, she has continued to be a major player in show business, currently only an Oscar away from EGOT status. A lot of people look at this nomination as one that’s been a long time coming. She would be a very popular choice if elected.
If elected, would she perform at the ceremony? Yes, & I also bet that they could find plenty of people that would love to perform with her. An all-star rendition of Girls Just Want To Have Fun sounds like a perfect way to start off the evening.
Biggest Billboard Hot 100 hit - Time After Time
My personal favorite - She Bop
Possible Side Category Inductee - The JBs
When the Hall did that retroactive induction of several backing bands back in 2012, the Famous Flames were among those so honored. But the Flames were the vocalists that backed up James Brown; none of the many outstanding instrumentalists that have been the backbone of Brown’s bands are in the Hall yet, with the notable exception of Bootsy Collins who was inducted as a member of Parliament/Funkadelic. Otherwise, many of the most important musicians in rock & roll history are still on the outside looking in, an oversight that needs to be addressed.
The JBs were nominated once as artists, but I don’t think they did enough on their own to warrant induction. They do absolutely deserve recognition in the Musical Excellence category. What makes it tricky is that there are dozens of men that could make the claim that they were members, but the Hall could easily limit it to the most vital and recognizable members without insulting people. There needs to be a place in the Hall for Maceo Parker. And Fred Wesley. And Jabo Starks. And most importantly, for Clyde Stubblefield. This bears repeating. Clyde Stubblefield is not currently in the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. All that he did was lay down the drum beat which has become what is most certainly the single most sampled musical piece ever created. His absence in particular is inexcusable. Sadly, it’s too late for him as he passed away a few years back, but Parker and Wesley are both still alive.
Who’s Next?
Earlier this month Viola Davis became the 18th EGOT. This weekend, Woody Harrelson reaches a milestone almost as prestigious, as he will be the 22nd recipient of the SNL Five Timers Club jacket. Kidding aside, it is a notable achievement. It entails maintaining sufficient popularity for a long stretch of time, while having both the necessary comedic skill to host a live sketch show and the ability to fit in and get along with multiple generations of cast and crew.
NBC seems to have a lot of say as to who hosts - ratings are paramount - which means that in recent years a host is more likely to be someone who’s timely at the expense of “friends of the show” recurring as hosts. As a result, there are some surprising names that aren’t five timers yet, despite the fact that their hosting stints have been memorable. For example, Jon Hamm’s episodes have been good ones, but his post-Mad Men projects haven’t been high profile enough, so he hasn’t been called back to host in some time. Similarly, it’s tough to imagine a 2023 equivalent of Buck Henry hosting the show even once, let alone 10 times. So, among the 12 men & women that have hosted 4 times, who’s likely to join the club in the foreseeable future? Let’s take a look.
Charles Barkley - The show is usually good for an athlete as host once a year, but those hosts are rarely asked to return for a second time. Sketch comedy and athletic excellence are not exactly complementary skills. Unless you include 5-timer Dwayne Johnson, Barkley is the notable exception. He’s always game and willing to poke fun at his image. I could see this happening, the only issue is that there is a thin window in which he’s available. He’s unlikely to take a week of from Turner during the NBA season, so any hosting stint would have to happen during the set of late September/early October episodes.
Dana Carvey - Surprisingly enough, episodes hosting by alumni tend to have lower ratings, which makes a Carvey return for a fifth go around appear to be a longshot. I think one of two things would need to happen. Either he has his own Only Murders In the Building type of hit. Or the upcoming 50th season would need to lean heavily into nostalgia mode and invite lots of former cast members back to host over the course of that year.
Louis C.K. - Yeah, this one isn’t happening. He could have actually paved a path back to respectability if he had shown genuine remorse for his actions, but his comeback has been filled with lots of finger pointing, cries of cancel culture, and unwillingness to take responsibility for his own actions. He was always an outstanding SNL host, but he won’t be back.
Cameron Diaz - She has always been a fun host; she’s got a charmingly goofy side to her personality and really lets loose on SNL. The chances of a fifth time for her are slim; she essentially left the acting business some time ago. It appears that she is starting to dip her toes back into that pool, but realistically she is no longer a big enough star to warrant a hosting slot unless any of her comeback vehicles blow up huge.
James Franco - This is another one on whom you can close the books. He’s not quite as bad as Louis C.K., but he’s toxic enough that he’s got don’t touch with a ten foot pole written all over him. The odd thing is that I’m not sure how he made it this far in the first place. On SNL he’s got that same bored, I’d rather be someplace else mood that he used when he hosted the Oscars. He’s never been one of the more memorable hosts.
Eric Idle - In the earliest years of the show SNL often hired major influential comedians as hosts which helped Idle bank 4 hosting stints. Those were always wonderful, as he brought Python sensibilities into SNL and the two styles meshed well. If he were to return for a fifth time, the logical impetus to bring him back would have been while Spamalot was a big Broadway hit. I don’t think he’s a recognizable enough name to entice younger viewers to watch an Idle-hosted episode now.
Ashton Kutcher - I never would have pegged him as a 4-timer, I honestly can’t remember any sketch that he appeared in. He’s still plugging away, but it’s been some time that he’s been in a project that’s visible enough to place him at the top of the list of potential hosts.
Lindsay Lohan - Seeing her name on this list saddens me. She first hosted around the time of Mean Girls and that one was such a great episode. In each subsequent hosting appearance she was clearly descending further and further into the issues that have derailed her career. It’s clear that the Lorne Michaels and the rest of the SNL team have affection for her, it’s likely that some of her later chances were de facto interventions. So I can see a fifth try if she’s somehow able to make a strong personal and professional comeback. That doesn’t appear imminent, however.
Michael Palin - You can pretty much copy and paste the Eric Idle paragraph; much of what I said there applies to Palin as well. As much as it would make people of my generation happy to see him host one more time, there is next to zero chance that NBC bean counters would sign off on that one.
Martin Short - His tally includes two co-hosting stints, but does not include the multiple cameo appearances he’s made over the years. These days it’s very unusual for someone to host more than once in any season, so if he makes it to the club it would need to wait until next year. He’s got a good shot at it as he still remains as popular as ever after all these years.
Paul Simon - Yes, it’s very surprising that he’s not a five-timer. After all, he appeared in the Tom Hanks sketch that introduced the concept. But although he’s likely the musical act that has appeared the most times - I don’t have it in me to do the research to confirm it, but it’s a good bet that he is - he’s been the guy that stands on stage at the show’s beginning to give a monologue and assure the audience that we’ve got a great show “only” 4 times. Being that he’s easing into semiretirement, the fifth time probably won’t happen unless the same 50th anniversary nostalgia possibility that would benefit Dana Carvey applies to him as well.
Emma Stone - It took us 12 tries and we had to reach the final alphabetical candidate, but she is the most likely next member. Stone is a big enough star that I would suspect the promotional cycle of her next major movie would provide the chance to add her to the club.
Belz
Speaking of SNL, Richard Belzer came up through the same comedy infrastructure that produced many of the original cast members, as a member of both Channel One and National Lampoon. At that time he was considered a bit too dangerous for network TV. Think about that. Michael O’Donoghue was a crucial creative voice in the show’s infancy, but Belzer was the guy that was scary enough that he was a bridge too far. He did occasionally appear as a background actor in some of the early sketches, and he was often used as the pre-show warmup comic for the studio audience.
Although at the time he was a not ready for late night player, he was a successful standup comic for years, and he had the utmost respect from his peers, the type of comedian that other comedians loved. He also had a stretch as a morning drive shock jock DJ. It wasn’t until he was almost 50 that he achieved mainstream success, and when he did he made TV history.
It’s such a shame that Homicide: Life On the Street is not available on any streaming service; I would love for younger audiences to have the means to watch it. In my eyes it is clearly an all-time top 5 police drama. Maybe top 3. Perhaps even top 2. A major reason why it was so good was that it was filled with memorable characters. Andre Braugher’s Frank Pembleton was the clear standout, but Belzer’s John Munch was not far behind.
It helped that Belzer instilled a lot of his own personality into Munch - a wisecracking, cynical conspiracy theorist. Once Homicide ended its run, John Munch found his way up to New York and the cast of Law & Order:SVU where he continued to portray the character for another decade+ across a total of 10 different TV series. He not only appeared in multiple shows in the L&O universe, but also in such disparate shows as The X-Files & 30 Rock! In fact, all told he portrayed Munch even longer than Kelsey Grammer portrayed Frasier Crane.
He stayed true to himself up to the very end. According to the friend who was with him when he passed, his final words were “F*** you, motherf***er!” Now that’s the way to go out.
Closing Thoughts
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