Introducing… A New Project
The Outsiders - Right Handed Pitchers
Here’s what I hope will be a fun little exercise. Presenting: my choices for the top 10 players at each position that are NOT in the Hall of Fame. This isn’t technically my listing of guys whom I believe deserve to get a plaque. The current procedure with the assorted eras committees makes it very difficult for more than 1 or 2 inductees per year. So, in a sense this is a way for me to figure out which specific players are worth lobbying for.
A few ground rules: 1) I’m limiting this to post-integration era players. It’s great that Negro League stats are now part of the official record, but it’s best to do the apples to apples comparison of players that were actually competing against each other. 2) I’ll list players who played multiple positions in the position with which they created the most value. 3) For this project I’m not making any judgement. I’m going by what they produced on the field; I have no interest in litigating what type of substances a player may have used or if he has been left out of the Hall because voters think he’s an a**hole. 4) These lists will consist of players whose fates are in the hands of eras committees - no active players, no recently retired ones, no one who is currently on the ballot. I might as well begin by kicking the hornet’s nest and start with right handed pitchers. Why not lead with controversy? The stats I’m including are career ERA+ and career WAR. Those are helpful numbers when it comes to comparing players across different eras.
Roger Clemens - 143, 139.2
Curt Schilling - 127, 79.5
Dave Stieb - 122, 56.4
Kevin Brown - 127, 67.8
David Cone - 121, 62.3
Orel Hershiser - 112, 56.0
Bret Saberhagen - 126, 58.9
Mike Garcia - 117, 30.4
Jose Rijo - 121, 36.5
Luis Tiant - 114, 66.1
As you can see, I prefer to reward pitchers who had brief stretches of greatness interrupted by injury rather than, say, a Dennis Martinez type who was an above average pitcher for a long stretch yet rarely elite. To put it another way, which do you prefer? Someone who was a top 5 pitcher for around 5 years or so, or someone who was a top 12 pitcher for around a decade? There’s no wrong answer, but my preference is for the former.
I have included several Cy Young winners, along with others who would have likely won the award had voters in the past used the same philosophy that current voters do. If the 1982 season were to take place today, there is zero chance that Pete Vuckovich would win the AL Cy Young instead of Dave Stieb. I could also see Kevin Brown winning the award in either 1996 or 1998.
It’s possible that I ranked Luis Tiant too low. Everybody loved the guy, and just like everyone else around my age I emulated his pitching motion (badly) when I was a kid. I just don’t think that at his peak he was as good as some of the pitchers that I place higher on this list. Mike Garcia is one of those players whose name is starting to fade, but he was a key member of an all-time great Cleveland rotation that helped lead them to a 111 victory season in 1954. That was part of a 4 year stretch in which he averaged just under 20 wins per year and led the AL in ERA once. The guy was a damn good pitcher.
Hershiser, Sabes & Rijo all shared the experience of of injuries interrupting stretches of dominance, and all 3 were World Series MVP’s to boot. Cone has all sorts of hardware; a Cy Young Award as well as 5 World Series rings.
I suppose I also need to address the two elephants at the top of the list. Way too many words were written about Clemens during his 10 years on the HOF ballot. Everyone’s opinions about him are set in stone, I don’t think it’s possible to change anyone’s mind at this point. The accomplishments are there to see; it’s up to each person to decide for themselves which are legitimate and which are questionable. As for Schilling, this is a list of great pitchers, not great human beings. He is simply one of the greatest clutch pitchers in the game’s history. The fact that he has tarnished his name by diving headfirst into the Basket Of Deplorables doesn’t change that fact.
Next week I’ll present my list of the top 10 left handed pitchers not in the Hall. That group should be a lot less contentious.
Classic SNL Recap - Season 4 Finale
Season 4 ended with Buck Henry hosting the season finale - with musical guest Bette Midler - for the third consecutive year. I had previously mentioned that one of the chief attractions for having Henry end the season was the fact that he was willing to do anything. The writers could easily pitch him a sketch that other hosts would not touch with a ten foot pole. Case in point - this week included the initial appearance of the infamous Uncle Roy. I can’t think of anyone else willing to portray a single adult male who would be hired as a babysitter for two prepubescent girls played by Laraine Newman & Gilda Radner. More disturbing than funny, I feel creepy even describing the uncomfortable elements in these sketches. A Polaroid camera, hidden candy bars in his pants pockets, a game of Simon Says, & I’ll stop there.
Mr. Bill had the honor of starring in the cold open. The premise was that he had tickets to see SNL in person, and his trip to 30 Rock came with his usual amount of mayhem. He meets John Belushi backstage, asks for an autograph, and Belushi stabs him in the back with his pen as he dots the “I.” Sluggo is the usher, and when he tears Mr. Bill’s ticket, he also rips out Mr. Bill’s hand. Mr. Bill gets to say the “live from New York” line, but a few seconds into the opening credits a livid Jane Curtin interrupts to yell at the crew over the fact that 4 seasons into the show’s run she had yet to give the iconic opening line. Belushi steps in to defend her, but then goes on to read the line himself. Curtin still can’t catch a break.
It’s part of show lore that of the women in the original cast Jane Curtin was the one who most vocally pushed back against the inherent sexism that was built into the show. In other words, there was a lot of truth behind that gag in the cold open. Furthermore, I only just now noticed that Don Pardo introduces Update as starring “Bill Murray and Jane Curtin.” At this point, Curtin had been anchoring Update for almost three years, she always read the first joke as well as the closing “good night and have a pleasant” tomorrow line. All that, and she STILL did not get top billing.
The showcase sketch this week revolved around a TV miniseries adaptation of John Dean’s book Blind Ambition. In the sketch Dan Aykroyd as Richard Nixon was explaining to his daughter Julie and son-in-law David that the tapes were misleading. He & Dean were actually playing a practical joke and pretending that there was a coverup.
In addition to this being the season finale, it would also prove to be the final episode for both Aykroyd and Belushi, as they quietly left the show during the summer hiatus. As such, this episode also featured the final appearances for some of the more enduring repeat sketches. This was the last time we saw the (poorly aging) Samurai; this one was Samurai Bakery, as he needed to make a last minute wedding cake for Henry. It was also the final Olympia Diner sketch. It seemed fitting that this one involved a fire at the diner, which appeared to have been an arson job for the insurance money. He got nothing once the insurance adjuster learned that Murray’s character lived in the back of the diner, a violation of the insurance terms.
The episode, and season #4, ended with the return of an old friend. Michael O’Donoghue brought back his impressionist character, speculating what it would look like if random celebrities would have steel spikes plunged into their eyes. This time it was Elvis. Yes, he was a disturbed man. Unfortunately this is another one of those early episodes for which none of the material is on YouTube, so I have no clips to share. Trust me on this one, the Nixon/Dean sketch still holds up well. Next week I’ll look at the season 5 premiere, hosted by Steve Martin. Without Aykroyd & Belushi, season 5 was a polarizing one, and it was one in which the episodes varied wildly when it came to quality.
Do Not Bait Me Into This Debate
The Caitlin Clark Olympic team story refuses to die. One would think that the fact that she herself has publicly admitted she hasn’t yet earned a spot on the team should have put the kibosh on the hot takes, but no such luck. It seems that the most common argument is that leaving Clark off of the team will cost the WNBA a crucial marketing opportunity. Fair enough, but you know what else markets the league? Showcasing the very best talent that the league has to offer. How much benefit would there be to see Clark fill the Christian Laettner role, finishing 12th on the team in total minutes? If there is anyone who has a legitimate gripe for being left off of the squad it would be Arike Ogunbowale, but once again whose spot would she take? THIS. TEAM. IS. STACKED. No disrespect whatsoever towards Caitlin Clark, but it’s not her time yet.
Update Time
Late Sunday evening Oregon State was eliminated in the NCAA baseball super regionals. Oregon had been eliminated earlier, so neither advanced to the College World Series. As a result, the Pac-12 is now officially dead. We all knew this day was coming, but it’s still a major bummer. So much history now gone, just so that former member schools can chase the football money.
Something very cool happened last weekend in IndyCar. The race in the Indy NXT series, which is that series’ rough equivalent of AAA baseball, was won by British driver Jamie Chadwick. That made her the first female driver to win at that level in more than a dozen years. Even more impressive, she won the pole position and never relinquished the lead, so it was a complete flag to flag victory. On top of that, the race was held on the Road America course in Wisconsin. That track is 4 miles long with 14 turns and negotiating that track necessitates frequent acceleration and deceleration. It takes a lot of skill to master that track. I’m not sure how close she is to getting a promotion to the top series, but this was a feat worth celebrating.
Oh, and the Dan Hurley speculation was all for naught. After taking a few days to contemplate the huge offer from the Lakers, he decided to stay at UConn. Is JJ Redick back in play?
The Streaming Orphans - Dr. Katz, Professional Therapist
This is a show that I’m surprised to find is not on any streaming service. Generally speaking a good chunk of old Comedy Central programming is available to stream. (Although, once again, say it with me. It is on YouTube, and it appears to have been uploaded by an official Dr. Katz account, so neither the legitimacy nor the quality of the uploads need be in doubt.)
Dr. Katz is the result of a simple yet brilliant idea. There are always exceptions, but there is a significant percentage of standup comics who are dealing with a lot of stuff and therefore use their stage time as a catharsis. So, why not repurpose standup routines as actual therapy sessions? This animated series starred Jonathan Katz as the titular character, a psychotherapist with a clientele largely made up of celebrities. The format of each episode usually consisted of a standard sitcom plot surrounded by two separate therapy sessions in which celebrities portray themselves.
Some of the patients were actors, but the real gems came from the comedian patients. As I said, any comic whose standard routines had a confessional persona would be ideal for this show’s format. The plots in each episode were a secondary concern. Dr. Katz himself was largely a blank slate; the two key characters were his slacker son Ben (voiced by a young H. Jon Benjamin) and his lethargic receptionist Laura (voiced by Laura Silverman.)
The animation technique this show used was Squigglevision, a style so primitive that it made Hanna-Barbera look like art in comparison. That’s not a criticism; the minimalism in the visuals placed all of the focus on the writing and on the voice work. It also played to the character strengths. Ben’s extreme sloth was perfect for an animation style in which the characters rarely moved; same with Laura. Her eye rolls said much more than any action possibly could.
All told, the show ran for 6 seasons and a total of 81 episodes. The quality of the episodes varied widely; it was all dependent upon who that week’s guest patients were. To use one example, if you’ve got Stephen Wright, you know that you will be in for a great half hour.
Closing Laughs
Reminder: Friday is Flag Day. Can’t wait to see what Martha-Ann Alito is gonna fly. Have a great day everyone, and we’ll talk once again on Friday.
