Greatest Song Evah 8/9/24

Chinese Rock

Even though this song was written by Dee Dee Ramone, with assistance from Richard Hell, the Ramones themselves did not record it until years later. The first officially released version of this song was by The Heartbreakers. (To be clear, this is the Johnny Thunders-led Heartbreakers, NOT Tom Petty’s band.) That’s just as well, the inspiration for the song was Dee Dee’s concern over the heavy drug use of Heartbreakers’ drummer Jerry Nolan. To paraphrase an old joke, if you’re doing so many drugs that it worries Dee Dee Ramone, it’s time to reassess your life choices. (Nolan eventually died of complications from a stroke at the age of 45, although it’s safe to say that his rough lifestyle heavily contributed to his early death.)

The back story is that the Ramones did not initially record it because Johnny Ramone pushed back against the song’s overt drug references. Chinese rocks was a form of heroin, and the lyrics refer to actual events in Dee Dee’s life as well as people within his social circle. “Hey, is Artie home” is a reference to art designer Arturo Vega, in whose apartment the events described in the song took place, and it was Dee Dee’s actual girlfriend who was crying in the shower stall.

The song, written in 1975, was finally released by the Ramones on their Phil Spector produced End Of the Century album from early 1980. It was worth the wait; it has all of the elements of the classic Ramones sound - Joey’s passionate singing, Johnny’s resonant power chords, Marky’s powerful 4/4 drumming. I highly recommend the End Of the Century documentary about the Ramones’s history; the Spector collaboration is well detailed, and it is as contentious as one would expect. For all of his considerable failures as a human being, no one can deny that Spector knew how to make a great record, even one such as this that came out well past his prime years.

Today’s Olympic Thoughts

Every Olympics the same question circulates - in which Olympic sport would you be most likely to succeed? I’ll take the bait. The problem is that I’m in the stage of my life in which it’s hard to find a sport in which I wouldn’t badly injure myself in the attempt, or at the very least pull muscles that I haven’t needed to use in years. I do believe there is one sport in which I would do well, and it’s a surprising one - trampoline. That’s not because I have any trampoline skills; I don’t think I’ve been on one since I was a very young child. It’s just that after two jumps I would lose all sense of equilibrium and I would find myself unintentionally doing all sorts of midair somersaults. I would have to hope that the judges wouldn’t notice me flailing my arms as I attempt to regain balance while I’m screaming like a banshee.

There’s obviously a bit of recency bias involved, but I cannot remember ever seeing a track & field meet as consistently thrilling as this one has been so far. It has had everything one would want - brilliant performances from all-time greats further cementing their legacies, much anticipated duels that lived up to the billing, unexpected heroes, and “how did that happen?” finishes.

Going into the games two of the marquee athletes were Swedish pole vaulter Armand Duplantis and American 400m hurdler Sydney McLaughlin-Levrone. Neither disappointed; each won their events with world record setting performances. Duplantis cleared his heights with so much room to spare that there was never a doubt that everyone else was fighting for second place. McLaughlin-Levrone wasn’t as much of a sure thing; many anticipated a great duel with Dutch star Femke Bol. McLaughlin-Levrone ended those thoughts quickly; she absolutely smoked the field and Bol had to settle for a bronze behind American Anna Cockrell.

Bol set the tone for the meet with her stunning comeback down the stretch in the 4x400m mixed relay. That was the first of many such feats. In the men’s 400m Quincy Hall exploded down the stretch; he seemed to be running twice as fast as the rest of the runners in the field. I still have no idea how he managed that one. The men’s 1500m was just as heavily anticipated as the women’s 400m hurdles was. In this case the rivalry between Jakob Ingebrigtsen of Norway and Josh Kerr of Great Britain has been fierce and chippy over the years. Ingebrigtsen was attempting a wire to wire win, but he ran out of gas in the last 50 meters. American Cole Hocker came out of nowhere to pass both for the win with Kerr taking the silver and fellow American Yared Nuguse winning bronze. What an amazing race.

Few races are as exciting as the battles to determine the world’s fastest man and woman. Both 100m races were spectacular. In the women’s race Julien Alfred of Saint Lucia edged out American Sha’Carri Richardson to win the first gold medal ever for her country. That was the appetizer for the next day’s men’s race. Noah Lyles of the US came from the back of the pack to defeat Jamaican Kishane Thompson by the thinnest possible margin. That accomplishment sounded even more impressive following yesterday’s 200m final. Lyles finished third, and he was clearly in physical distress after the race. It was soon revealed that he had just tested positive for COVID. (He was seen wearing a mask in the ready room before the race, so he was taking care not to infect his fellow runners.) In other words, he was already carrying the virus when he won the Olympic 100m dash.

That only scratches the surface of what has been going on in the track. Just on the American side, shot putter Ryan Crouser won his third gold medal, and discus thrower Valarie Allman her second. Two of the most sparkling personalities on the team, Gabby Thomas and Tara Davis-Woodhall won golds in the 200m and long jump respectively. There are still 2 days to go, so there is plenty of time for more excitement, especially considering the relays are imminent.

Massive comebacks were not confined to the track. In yesterday’s men’s basketball semifinal matchup between the United States & Serbia the Serbs led by as many as 17 points, and began the 4th with a 15 point lead. Steph Curry & LeBron James were having none of that. They both took control in the 4th quarter, and the US escaped Nikola Jokic and company with a victory. Next they will face France and its big frontcourt in the gold medal game tomorrow. That promises to be a great game, especially with the drama surrounding Joel Embiid. French fans are angry that Embiid chose to play with Team USA rather than France, and he has been booed loudly every time he has touched the ball. It should make for a great atmosphere in the final.

Success in team sports for the American contingent has been the domain of the women. It bears repeating; the parade of gold for US women is largely due to Title IX. American women have had a long history of success in the Olympics well before the institution of Title IX, but Title IX has been instrumental in building a strong infrastructure for women’s sports, particularly in team sports. The water polo team lost their semifinal match against Australia in a shootout, but the soccer & volleyball teams will both play for gold this weekend, and the basketball team - which is heavily favored to win gold - will play a semifinal game later today. This is yet another reason why I’m so bummed over the demise of the Pac-12 conference. Pac-12 schools have been such a seeding ground for Olympic sports; I hope these schools can continue this run of success in their new conference affiliations.

Oh, Those White Sox

The White Sox mercifully fired manager Pedro Grifol yesterday. There’s never an ideal time to make a move like this, but I suppose this was as good a time as any. They finally broke their 21 game losing streak earlier this week, so he at least got to celebrate one victory before his dismissal. It would have been a brutal feeling for the guy if he had lost his job mid-streak. That’s no consolation for those on the team who will need to suffer through to the end of the year. Their misery index is inconceivable. They are on pace for only 39 victories, even fewer than the infamous 1962 Mets. Depending on how things go, they could be officially mathematically eliminated from the AL Central race as early as next week. It’s only August.

It’s worth noting that Jerry Reinsdorf deserves a spot in the Pantheon Of Horrible Owners. I know poor ownership when I see it; I root for a team that the Wilpons ran for decades, and James Dolan’s screwy stewardship has ruined Knicks fandom for me. Reinsdorf is just as bad as any bad owner you would care to name. He has long been one of the prominent voices in any labor dispute, constantly pleading poverty, which is special coming from the owner of a franchise in Chicago. Call me crazy, but if owning a baseball franchise gives him the poor ROI that he claims it does, then why would he stay in the game for decades? But no, he’s content to spend as little as possible while cashing in his profits. It’s no coincidence that even though the White Sox have had intermittent success, it has rarely been sustainable.

He has also ridden the Michael Jordan coattails with regards to his ownership of the Bulls. Yes, they won 6 titles, but history would have been vastly different had Portland drafted MJ with the second pick in 1984. There is little reason to believe he would have spent the money to build a championship squad had he not had Jordan in house. Jerry Krause is the convenient villain when discussing the dismantling of of the Bulls dynasty, but he would not have been quite as ruthless were it not for Reinsdorf’s orders to drastically cut costs.

Billy Bean 1964-2024

Major League Baseball suffered a terrible loss with the news that Billy Bean succumbed to leukemia earlier this week. After a brief playing career - in which he was often mistaken for the similarly named Billy Beane of Moneyball fame - he made a major mark on the game & society in his second act.

Bean became only the second former major league player, following Glenn Burke years earlier, to come out as gay. MLB soon hired him to work in the league offices, and he held an assortment of executive positions within the sport, all of which were connected to MLB’s diversity initiatives. He made for a powerful voice; it’s no secret that baseball clubhouses are not a bastion of progressive social thinking. Bean would tour spring training each year and speak with each individual team, simply to discuss the need for diversity and open mindedness.

Bean had near universal respect throughout the sport, helped in no small part by his demeanor. When he would be called in to speak with a player who had been caught using a racial epithet or homophobic slur on the field, he did not take a finger wagging tone. He would instead speak with the offender on a one to one, adult to adult basis. As a result, it didn’t feel like a player was being forced to sit in a meeting with HR. The hope was that he helped to change minds one step at a time.

I don’t know who is next in line to take over Bean’s duties within the league. Whoever it is has some big shoes to fill. To this day no active major league player has come out; realistically there have been many who were like Bean, having to hide who they are. May Bean’s ultimate legacy be that he successfully laid the groundwork for an atmosphere in which an active player who just happens to be gay will be comfortable enough live his life openly, and that his teammates will treat him no differently than anyone else.

50 Years Ago - The TV Revivals

As we all know, everything old is new again. Take a look at a network schedule, and it won’t take long to find multiple revivals of older series. It’s certainly not a new concept - a revival arrives presold, it’s not as if a network’s promotional department needs to explain the concept of Law & Order - and there were a few examples of the form that came out in 1974.

The classic game show Name That Tune returned in 1974, and as you can probably imagine, it was a big favorite of mine. Two contestants would face each other in assorted games which tested their abilities to identify songs. The best known game was probably Bid A Note. Host Tom Kennedy would read clues about the song, which would be followed by the contestants trying to see how few notes it would take to name that tune. “I can name that tune in 6 notes.” “I can name it in 5.” “Johnny, name that tune.”

A few years into the revival’s run a new game was added to the mix which featured the national television debut of a young singer named Kathie Lee Johnson. You know her better now as Kathie Lee Gifford. In this segment she would sing the song that the contestants needed to guess but replace the title with “la-la’s.” In other words, if this week’s Greatest Song Evah was the answer, she would sing “I’m living on la la la. All my best things are in hock.” Writing this makes me want to hear Kathie Lee sing a bunch of Ramones covers. I bet her take on Teenage Lobotomy would be awesome.

This wasn’t the only music related 1974 revival. A syndicated version of Your Hit Parade came out that year. Just like the original, it featured a group of some of the whitest pop singers in creation performing cover versions of hit songs. The oddity is that in the revival they did not do current hits; it was covers of old standards from the 40’s & 50’s. I realize nostalgia was very big back then, but I’m baffled over this choice. I can’t see there having been that large of an audience for this. It predictably quietly vanished.

My favorite revival was the modernized version of Candid Camera. The local station which aired Mets games had syndication rights to the original version, so that made for perfect rain delay programming. I had seen enough OG Candid Camera to be ready for a new version of the show. Hidden camera prank shows have long been a TV mainstay, but there has been a mean spirited tone to the recent ones. Candid Camera felt so innocent, with Allen Funt’s famous declaration that there’s nothing as hilarious as catching people in the act of being themselves.

There were 2 pranks in particular which I remember very well, and I really wonder how I would have reacted to either. In one, they had a man stand outside a pizza place and have him stare at the people eating at the table next to the front window. By nature I’m a non-confrontational person, so if that was me I couldn’t imagine walking outside and yelling “WTF” at the guy. Would I have moved to a different table, or eaten as quickly as I could so that I could get out? Don’t know. The other one would have terrified me. They had someone sit inside of a mailbox, so that when a person would drop a letter into the slot a hand would reach out to grab it. Yeah, if that was me I would have shown quite the vertical leap.

Closing Laughs

That should do it for now. Thanks to all for joining in on the fun, and have a relaxing weekend. Until Monday, ta ta!