Greatest Song Evah 8/25/23
Get Up (I Feel Like Being A) Sex Machine
This week’s selection all comes down to the groove. In addition to containing some classic call and response vocals between James Brown and Bobby Byrd, this song is also a perfect showcase for the Collins brothers. Funk is generally a rhythm-centered genre, and in this case the rhythm is based on the guitar line that Catfish Collins lays down which creates an ideal hook. And Bootsy Collins’ bass work here establishes the deep bottom which makes the track shine.
Not all of the best-known members of James Brown’s varied backup bands perform on this one, but the characteristics of a typical Brown band are very evident here. Simply put, his ensembles were always extraordinarily tight. Of course, a lot of it was due to the notorious fines he would impose if anyone would miss a note, but they never miss a beat. I haven’t even mentioned those fierce piano notes that Brown lays down in the break. The various pieces of this production coalesce into a spectacular whole.
Leopard Face Eating Party, Russian Edition
Over the past several years people have gotten a lot of mileage from the above tweet. It’s a humorous twist on the “first they came for” poem, and it’s had legs because there’s so much truth behind it. And as we saw earlier this week it travels internationally.
No one will ever know what was going through the mind of Yevgeny Prigozhin. Attempting a coup against a murderous dictator such as Vladimir Putin takes some serious stones, but if you start it you had better see it through to the end. To call it off on the verge of reaching Moscow and actually believing that Putin would let bygones be bygones? I mean, has he even seen Putin’s previous work? Did he actually believe the leopard would not eat his face? Prigozhin was quite the monster himself, so he was no sympathetic figure by any means, but he clearly made the fatal mistake of believing there was professional courtesy between ruthless killers.
It’s not exactly the same thing but when the news came out about the crash of Prigozhin’s private plane I quickly thought of John Gotti’s ill-fated neighbor. The man accidentally struck and killed Gotti’s 12 year old son with his car. Although it was an accident, surely the poor guy knew that his fate was sealed. Four months later he disappeared and his body has still not been found. Did the family lull him into a false sense of security by waiting that long to respond? Is that the same tactic that Putin used? Did Prigozhin believe that since nothing had happened to him after all this time he was surely safe, and therefore there was no danger in having his plane fly in Russian air space?
The lesson, as always is simple. You come at the king, you best not miss.
Crap, Crap, Crap
Or, Why We Can’t Have Nice Things Vol. 746. Waking up Thursday morning to see a push notification about Shohei Ohtani’s torn UCL wasn’t exactly the best way to begin the day. It’s the worst news possible on so many levels, not the least of which as it serves as further proof that unicorns aren’t real.
Before going any further it bears repeating that even if he’s unable to pitch for the foreseeable future he is still a special player. He leads the major leagues in home runs and is in the top 5 in the AL in both batting average and RBIs. He’s far enough out of the batting lead to make a run at the triple crown unlikely, but to even be in that conversation is impressive. In addition, he ranks in the top 5 in position player WAR, even though he doesn’t play the field.
What this means is that no matter how you slice it he is a truly great player. The injury is likely to reduce his contract numbers once he hits free agency in a couple of months. He won’t earn Sultan Of Brunei levels of cash, but weep not for him. He’s going to earn big bucks.
What’s less certain is how severe an effect the injury will have on his hitting prowess. He’s awaiting a second opinion to determine if a second Tommy John surgery or if he should try to see if the tear heals on its own. And even if he all parties ultimately decide to proceed with the surgery it’s possible for a position player to return as a DH relatively quickly, as Bryce Harper is proving this year. But of course this is going to resurrect the old questions. Is he better off just concentrating on hitting? Would he be an even better hitter than he already is if he wasn’t also pitching?
Beyond what it means for Ohtani himself this is just devastating for the Angels franchise and for Angels fans. They also snuck in “oh yeah, this too” news as Mike Trout returned to the IL mere days after being activated. Arte Moreno essentially told the dealer “hit me” while he was holding a 19. He made a huge gamble by holding on to Ohtani at the trade deadline and it’s blown up in his face.
Losin’ Ain’t Easy
Every once in awhile I develop an odd respect for the 1962 Mets. On occasion a team pops up that promises to be both historically and hysterically bad. It racks up losses at such a rapid pace that comparisons are made to that Mets team which has become the universal symbol of futility. Although there have been teams that have threatened to match their record, no one has finished the job. It’s hard to lose that many games, even the worst teams find a way to go on a hot streak and put up a few Ws.
Early this year the Oakland A’s appeared to be the latest club capable of setting some dubious records. They spent most of the opening weeks of the season on the proper pace, but they spoiled the fun by going on a mini-run. They’re still awful, but they’ve racked up 37 victories; that projects to a final record of 47-115. I suppose it’s technically possible that they completely fall of the cliff, but I’ll go out on a limb and say that they’ll manage to find a way to win at least 4 games over the season’s final 5 weeks. So they won’t go in the record books, but they’ve got this going for them. Their elimination number is down to 1, so they will be officially mathematically eliminated from playoff contention as early as tonight. That’s something. I don’t know what the record is for earliest playoff elimination is in the era of expanded playoffs, but this has gotta be close.
Just When You Thought The Evil Couldn’t Get Worse
Texas Governor Greg Abbott appears to be playing a game of “hold my beer” with himself. How else to explain this story , as he sent another bus filled with migrants to California, this time as Tropical Storm Hilary was bearing down on the region? Officials can claim all they want about the group volunteering to head towards Los Angeles, but to transport them in the midst of a natural disaster is irresponsible at best, and evil at worst. It’s not only sending these people directly into a perilous situation, but it’s doing so while LA responders are already stretched thin.
As always, it comes down to an inability or unwillingness to see the less fortunate among us as fellow human beings. I often wonder how Abbott can sleep at night, it’s apparent that it’s because he doesn’t have a soul. I haven’t cracked open the Bible in several years, but I do remember that whatever you do for the least of my brothers, you did for me. Seems to me that an awful lot of people that claim to be Christian pass over that part.
Hmmm….
Well, now. On Wednesday I published a post in which I defended Dwight Gooden and to a lesser extent Darryl Strawberry, stating that it’s unfair that their substance abuse issues dominated the narratives of their respective career arcs. The following morning the Mets announced that both players’ uniform numbers are going to be retired next season. I’m not going to claim sole responsibility for those honors - I seriously doubt that Steve Cohen subscribes to this newsletter - but….
In all seriousness, this is wonderful to see. Among the many sins of the Wilpon regime was their reluctance to honor team history. They seemed especially uneasy when it came to the ‘86 team; way too many players from that team were estranged from the franchise for years. That has not been the case under Cohen’s ownership. Several teams have long had unstated policies that only Hall Of Fame players warrant number retirement; that attitude has begun to thaw across the sport. The Dodgers finally retired Fernando Valenzuela’s number this year, for example. This is a long time coming. Doc & Darryl were more than simply being great players in their primes. They were both special. You never wanted to miss a Gooden start or a Strawberry at bat. Congrats.
Peace Out
Looks like bail bondsmen in Georgia were fairly busy this week. They’ve earned this weekend, and so have we. See you all again on Monday.