Greatest Song Evah 8/23/24

The Stand

Based on the Stephen King novel, The Stand was the song that introduced The Alarm to the world, and it has some personal importance for me. The very first concert that I attended on my own - meaning not some random show that I went to as part of a family vacation - was U2 performing at NYC’s old Pier 84 with The Alarm as the opening act. This was during U2’s War tour, and there was a natural connection between the two acts. War was released around the same time as The Alarm’s first EP as well as the debut album from Big Country. All 3 bands produced rousing anthems; their sound was in sharp contrast to the synth based pop so prevalent on MTV, and all came from just outside of England - Irish U2, Scottish Big Country, and Welsh The Alarm.

In this initial phase of their career The Alarm largely played acoustic instruments, but did so with such force that it almost sounded electric. They had such a power to them, and they expressed such hope, that you almost felt ready to run through a brick wall for them. As time passed, they started to take those U2 comparisons too literally. By the time they recorded Strength they practically felt like a U2 tribute band. But that was for later, early Alarm kicked serious butt.

As mentioned, this song was loosely based on Stephen King’s The Stand, with lyrical references to characters such as The Walking Dude & Trashcan Man, as well as a plague that claimed man and son. The arrangement of the tune turns this into the type of anthem that the forces of good would hum as they make their attack on Randall Flagg’s crew. Come on down and make the stand, indeed.

Today’s Olympic Notes

One of the ramifications of the average American sports fan largely pushing aside Olympic sports after the Games has ended is that many of the athletes fall into out of sight, out of mind territory. That can also mean that people will easily mistake one past Olympian for another. That was the case with a back and forth which took place between past and present athletes that got a little chippy.

It began when 2020 medal winning gymnast MyKayla Skinner insinuated that this year’s team wasn’t very talented (Simone Biles excepted) and that they don’t work hard enough. The clear implication is that the recent reforms - which are intended to prevent coaches from abusing their athletes! - has made the current squad soft and entitled. When the US women won team gold Biles threw some serious shade in Skinner’s direction via social media; Skinner had to eventually cry mercy.

As this was going down, I’m sure many people had the same reaction. Having been thrown off by the similar first names but not noticing the different spelling, how many people thought it was actually McKayla Maroney griping about the 2024 team? Sure, it’s part of her brand to be unimpressed, but why go there? Thankfully, it was a different McKayla. Or MyKayla. Maroney had some fun with it herself; when she put out her own social media post congratulating the team, she made mention to apologize for the damage that has been done to her first name.

In a similar vein, audiences also sometimes forget the existence of certain sports and their mockability factor. In the Winter Olympics the sport is doubles luge, which Mary Carillo once famously described as a sport which looks like a bar bet gone terribly wrong. For the Summer Games the winner is race walking.

More than even badminton, race walking is the sport for which many people think, “how is this in the Olympics? I do this every day!” It doesn’t help that the exaggerated gait the walkers use to maximize speed without running makes it look odd. Let’s not kid ourselves, however. Walking 20km as quickly as possible in hot conditions can be brutal; just look at how drenched and drained the walkers are at the end of a race. I also can’t figure out how they do it; I have to imagine that the competitive instinct in world class athletes is so strong that it’s nearly impossible to resist the temptation to break into a run when you’re trailing the leader.

Joey, We’re Glad We Knew Ye

In news that wasn’t unexpected but was nevertheless disheartening, Joey Votto announced his retirement from baseball on Wednesday. He did not appear in a major league game this season. After going unsigned for most of the winter, he finally nabbed a minor league deal late in spring training with Toronto. He had signed too late to have a realistic chance of making the opening day roster, but any illusion that he might became moot when he injured an ankle in his first spring training game. It was all too relatable for those of us of a certain age to see how frustratingly slow the healing process proved to be. His rehab came with considerably more steps backwards than forwards, and in those minor league rehab games that he managed to play he was terribly unproductive.

On one hand, this means that he finishes up as a one-franchise star; every single one of his 2056 career major league games were played in a Cincinnati Reds uniform. On the other hand, it must be a serious bummer for him that he was unable to make even a cameo appearance with his hometown team.

The guy had one hell of a career, which included MVP award, 5 other top 10 finishes, and a Baseball Reference page filled with bold type. Before a late career downturn brought his lifetime batting average down, he was on track to finish with the coveted .300/.400/.500 triple slash. Beyond that, he was one of the most interesting guys in the game. A severe introvert early in his career, once he broke out of his shell he revealed himself to be an intellectually curious man & one who cherished interacting with fans, sometimes in a playfully trollish manner. During stints on the injured list he would occasionally sit in on Reds broadcasts. I’m not sure if he’s willing to make that sort of time commitment, but he would be a natural in the broadcast booth if he’s so inclined. Godspeed, Joey Votto, you were someone who made baseball much more enjoyable. (Side note, Votto and Zack Greinke will both be eligible for the Hall Of Fame for the first time in the same year. That would be a ceremony not to miss.)

Farewell To A Ram

There are 435 members of the House Of Representatives, which means that the majority of them are fairly anonymous even to serious political junkies. That’s part of the reason why a disproportionate number of reps with large national profiles are those who spend a lot of time trolling on cable news. If you’re not in a House leadership role, the easiest way to stand out from the pack is to s***talk or s***post.

Because of that, too many of the better known members of Congress are among those that drive me bonkers. I do have 2 clear favorites however. One is my own rep - I live in AOC’s district - and the other is Bill Pascrell from New Jersey, who passed away on Wednesday in the stretch run of his latest reelection bid. My affinity for Pascrell is only partially due to ideology; he and I are both alumni of Fordham University.

That’s not enough to seal the deal in and of itself, it’s due to the fact that I had several encounters with him years before he was first elected to Congress. He was as passionate a fan of Fordham basketball as you will ever see, and in my undergraduate days he was a constant presence around the team. His seat for home games was near the radio booth. This never happened at any of the games I worked on, but some of my friends shared anecdotes of needing to politely ask him to dial it down a tad because his cheering was so loud that the crowd mic was blowing out the play by play broadcasters. His Fordham fandom continued throughout his life. At the most recent game that I personally attended, I did see him there as well.

He has served in Congress since 1997. In recent years he has become one of the most reliable anti-Trump voices in the caucus, and with his New Jersey bluntness, he has been ideal for cable news hits. He was 87 when he died. You can certainly make the argument that he should have stepped aside at some point to make room for a fresher face, but every time I had seen him on TV he still had his fastball. His was no slow march to the end a la Strom Thurmond or Dianne Feinstein. He served his country and his constituents quite well. I will now be accepting applications for the coveted position of my new Second Favorite Member Of Congress. (Jasmine Crockett? Jamie Raskin?)

50 Years Ago - Happy Days

Happy Days spent a good chunk of the late 1970’s-early 1980’s near the top of the ratings. Would it wrong to say that despite that, the show wasn’t very good? Don’t get me wrong, I was the perfect age for that show when it first ran, but looking back at it from an adult perspective it wasn’t much to write home about. The show was overflowing with many of the most basic sitcom tropes.

Happy Days had a longer than normal gestation period; after ABC rejected the pilot it was burned off on an episode of Love, American Style. Then suddenly a huge nostalgia boom hit; several of the first generation rock & roll stars made comebacks, and more importantly American Graffiti - which co-starred Ron Howard - became a big hit. That led ABC to give Happy Days a second chance.

The first two seasons were drastically different from what followed. Those seasons were shot on film and had more of a seriocomedy feel. The most notable difference could be seen in Fonzie’s role on the show. In those first two seasons he was maybe the fifth or sixth most important character. Moreover, network brass was concerned that he looked like too much of a hoodlum. He was never shown riding his motorcycle, instead he would usually tinker with it in his garage. Plus, his iconic leather jacket was nowhere to be seen; he wore a windbreaker in those early seasons

With season 3 the changes were made that turned the show into a massive success and Henry Winkler into a superstar. The show was now videotaped in front of a live audience, and two critical creative changes were made. First off, the Cunningham family apparently killed oldest son Chuck in a ritual murder and buried his body, vowing to never speak of it or him again. That’s my theory at least. Second, Fonzie moved into an apartment above the garage of the Cunningham home, placing him closer to the center of the action. It did not take long for him to become the de facto star of the show, complete with leather jacket and motorcycle.

This is where the sitcom cliches took over. A live studio audience meant that each Fonzie entrance (and later on, Chachi’s entrances) would be greeted with loud cheers from the crowd. In addition, the catch phrases were relentless. Now, a 1970’s sitcom is not the place you are necessarily going to go to for gritty realism. Even taking that into account, Happy Days contained some of the stupidest plots you will ever see. The shark jumping scene is the most notorious example. I kind of get that in the show’s internal logic the premise checks out. Fonzie’s essence makes it clear that he masters every task he attempts, so of course even on his first try he would be a skilled enough water skier to jump over a shark cage. Wouldn’t he want someone more experienced than Richie to drive the tow boat?

This sort of thing always bothers me as well. In the modern age virtually all shows have some sort of serialization. Producers go with the theory that characters in their shows are real people with real lives, so events in one episode should have an effect on what happens in later ones. Not so much back then. In sitcoms of the day it’s almost as if the show runners acted as gods, and would shake the Etch-A-Sketch so that even significant events would be completely forgotten by the next episode.

Happy Days had many examples of that trope - remember when Richie was almost killed in a motorcycle accident and all of his injuries miraculous healed by the next week? Here are two more. In one episode Fonzie started complaining about reading causing headaches. He was crushed when informed that he needed glasses; Fonzie after all was a man unable to say the phrase “I was wrong,” how could he have a physical flaw? He eventually faced reality, and at the end of the episode he was speaking at a school assembly and when he took out his glasses the entire school gasped in disbelief. He gave them some sort of “be who you are” lecture and the students collectively realized that eyeglasses are cool after all. Needless to say, Fonzie was never seen wearing glasses in any subsequent episodes.

This one was even better. In one episode Chachi was suddenly shown to be the star of the basketball team. Odd, he never demonstrated any interest in sports before. In the episode an unscrupulous college recruiter was giving Chachi all sorts of under the table bribes to get him to commit to that school. In the next game he landed awkwardly on his knee and suffers a terrible injury. Oh no! The recruiter immediately clears out of town, and Chachi’s dreams of college basketball stardom were dashed. This was never spoken of again, and the show didn’t even bother to show him sporting a limp.

I’m probably being a little too tough on this show; as I said it was a favorite of mine when I was around 12, and there should always be a place for shows that appeal to a young audience. This was of course the show that introduced the world to the Malachi Crunch. I just need someone to explain Potsie to me. The dude was a high school student for around 9 years. And honestly, someone needs to reopen that cold case and find out what really happened to Chuck Cunningham.

Closing Laughs

So long for now, everyone. Have a terrific weekend, and let’s get back together again on Monday.