Greatest Song Evah 3/31/23
I Don’t Wanna Grow Up
For all of his prodigious talents as a songwriter, it’s somewhat surprising that there aren’t more Tom Waits covers than there are. There’s an Old ‘55 here, a Jersey Girl there, and Downtown Train of course. But you would think that there would be enough of a Dylanesque “I don’t care for his voice but I love his songs” vibe that plenty of artists would mine his songbook for hits.
Part of it is that particularly as he aged he wrote songs ideally suited to his characteristically gravely voice. There’s such a grimy atmosphere to his lyrics that there are few instances in which a song of his would be a good fit for a pop singer. This week’s selection is a notable exception. The Ramones covered this one towards the end of their career, but it’s plausible that someone else could make this one their own and send Waits a nice royalty check.
The Waits original is quintessentially Waits. I like the contrast his stripped down arrangement and distinctive voice draws between the lyrical tone. The incongruity of Tom Waits singing a song about wishing to remain childlike is striking. What could he of all people have possibly been like as a child? I can’t help but picture him sitting in a grammar school cafeteria sipping a single malt scotch to wash down his tater tots.
Final Four Weekend
Here’s an indication of how much of an upheaval the plethora of upsets caused in the men’s tournament. Most NBA draft big boards don’t have anybody playing this weekend ranked in the upper echelon. It’s possible that Jordan Hawkins of UConn is the only first round draft pick, and even he is looking at the lower reaches of the lottery.
And somehow either Florida Atlantic or San Diego State will be playing in the championship game. A lack of traditional powers does not enough make for a strong final weekend. Let’s hope things work out better than they did in 2011. If you recall, UConn defeated Butler in what was an absolutely dreadful game. It’s a cute story to have lesser known schools make a deep run. It’s better to have stronger teams progidr fans with a memorable game.
The women’s Final Four should be better. In their case the relative absence of the same old same old is welcome; amazingly enough it’s the first Final Four since 1985 containing neither Tennessee, UConn, nor Stanford. In contrast to the men’s game, in which the top players leave for the pros at first chance, the women stay in college and can therefore improve their games before our eyes and fully establish their stardom. Players such as Aaliyah Boston and Haley Jones have become familiar March presences.
Tonight’s South Carolina/Iowa semi comes with great anticipation. Caitlin Clark dropped a 40 point triple double in last weekend’s regional final. She’s got a real Steph Curry like range; I believe she drained a couple of threes from my living room. Clark vs. Boston is exactly the type of star vs. star matchup that juices ratings. With Clark in one game and Angel Reese playing for LSU in the other the night will have two of the swaggiest stars in the game seizing the spotlight. Should be a great night.
Mamma Mia, That’s a Mammoth Meatball!
I’m sure by now everyone has read the news that an Australian company has created a meatball made from mammoth DNA. This appears to be a safer use of genetic material from an extinct species than the Jurassic Park model. (Note to self - do NOT make a tastes like chicken joke.) I’ll also bet that if this takes off it’s a better future food option than soylent green, at least until a fast food franchise introduces the McMammoth to its menu.
Joking aside, the ways in which we will produce and consume food in the years to come is a crucial issue. The current agricultural system is not sustainable, the climatic effects of raising so much meat are going to grow increasingly catastrophic. It will benefit everyone if lab-created meat could be a viable solution. I understand the unease when it comes to faux meat, I feel it myself, and there is also a clear concern that the taste and texture may not satisfy. Would a mammoth burger taste like (no! Don’t make the obvious joke!)
Whether or not this actual concoction is the solution or if there is another lab somewhere that produces a better alternative, this is a story that bears watching in the months and years to come. We’ve all watched enough science fiction that has shown future societies getting all of their nutrition via a pill. It’s more ideal to satisfy humanity’s palates with a tasty meat alternative. It may not even need to taste like chicken. (Darn it! I couldn’t resist!)
They Could Always Use Fractions
Interesting article by Brendan Kuty in The Athletic yesterday. With all of the numbers the Yankees have retired over the years they’re worried that they may begin to run out of available ones. I remember hearing concern about exactly this issue several years back; the team may be too liberal when it comes to giving out the honor. It’s the ironic drawback of the decades of success they have had. In addition to the huge number of legends who have worn the uniform, there are also several longtime fan favorites who may not have reached the Ruth/Gehrig level yet are still number-retirement worthy.
In order to clear some room they have asked the league to consider not issuing uniform numbers to managers and coaches. Because the first and third base coaches are on field, they would still require numbers, but it might make sense for managers and the remaining coaches to go sans number. Those personnel rarely wear jerseys, instead they sit on the bench sporting windbreakers or hoodies. If no one ever sees their numbers, do they actually need one? It could avoid having players have numbers that make them look like offensive linemen. The only other alternative would be to have lower tier guys share numbers. The utility infielder could don #55A, whereas the 13th guy on the pitching staff would be #55B.
If nothing else, the article provided us with a paragraph for the ages:
https://theathletic.com/4360660/2023/03/30/yankees-uniform-numbers-mlb/
This Is No Time To Gloat… Well, Maybe A Little
Big legal news yesterday. If the American educational system will still exist, future generations will read about this day in history books. I’m talking of course about the founder of Goop winning her trial.
In other news, the New York grand jury indictment of Orange Man has finally happened. Despite his own prediction that it was going to come down last week, I’ve seen John Oliver press that “we got him!” button enough times for me to have to see it to believe it. Well, now I see it and you bet I believe it. A former POTUS is going to face criminal charges.
For a while observers have noted that the case to really look at is the one in Georgia, as the charges there seem to be much more serious. But make no mistake, this one is pretty severe - 34 counts! Baskin Robbins doesn’t even have that many flavors of ice cream. Innocent until proven guilty, I get it. But at the same time it’s precious to hear from the crowd shouting “witch-hunt” or “politically motivated!” These are many of the same people that were ready to lock Hillary Clinton up for… reasons. Reasons that of course had no political motivation whatsoever. It’s also hard to brand yourself as the party of law and order if you’re screaming like a banshee over this indictment. How often do you hear these exact same people claim that if they caught you you’re guilty? And none of the screamers have actually seen the indictment. You can’t say it’s unfair if you don’t know what’s in it.
Oh, and one last time. George Soros did not donate any money to Alvin Bragg’s campaign! Nor did his PAC! Constantly referring to Bragg as owned by Soros really reveals one’s antisemitic stripes.
SNL Preview
As a general rule of thumb, episodes hosted by accomplished sketch comedians have a good track record. Going as far back as the early days when Eric Idle or Michael Palin would host, performers who are already well versed in that particular skill are able to easily assimilate into SNL. It’s doubly valuable if the host’s roots come from a sketch program that contains a specific sensibility; it means that host and staff are able to build an episode uniquely suited to their comedic voice.
Which brings us to Quinta Brunson. Her days as a key cast member on A Black Lady Sketch Show shows that she has not only the sketch skill but also the ability to create characters well suited to her own skills. Add that to fact that she is currently one of show business’s major stars/creative voices and this week’s show promises to be one of the season’s high points. And as a bonus the post production union members formally approved their new contract, so it will be a fully staffed episode.
Closing The Book On Another Week
15 MLB teams still have a shot at an undefeated season. Where there’s hope… Thanks for reading everyone, and have a great weekend. Please be sure to tell your friends about Tending The Herd. You’ll be glad you did.